Wedding D'var Torah - The No Longer Lonely Man of Faith

At the Chatan's Tisch I was unable to give my D'var Torah due to time restrictions. We could not find the Rav who was honored with reading the T'naim for - what seemed like - fifteen minutes so I did not have time to share my speech then.

I wrote this speech in ten minutes sometime the week before the wedding at work and never saw it again until the day of the Chatanah. I thought that some of you might like to read it - though a few of you already have.

In Genesis 2:18 the Torah tells us "Lo Tov Hiyot HaAdam L'vado", which is usually translated as "It is not good for man to be alone." This verse is often used when speaking about marriage. However, the verse seems to be misunderstood. Rav Soloveitchik explains that the word would be translated as loneliness or aloneness. Preferring the translation "It is not good for man to be lonely", the Rav shows us that man needs more than a helper- that two can accomplish more than one. Man cannot be lonely. Man cannot live up to his potential - again, not a utilitarian purpose - but for ontological reasons - without an Ezer K'negdo - without a soul mate. This is what soul mate really means, a person with whom we achieve more, a person who gives life meaning and direction. A marriage is always greater than the sum of its parts.

Lo Tov Hiyot HaAdam L'vado - It is not good for man to be lonely. I am no longer lonely.

It was a wonderful wedding, more than I could have ever wished or asked for. This past week of Sheva Brachot has been the most exhausting week ever. We've been up and down the east coast (my parents are making "East Coast Tour" t-shirts). Now it's time to go back to work and finally settle in.

And it begins...

I don't know when I'll be able to post again but I wanted to share with you the picture of the Ketuba. It was made by Rosie Weisel of Kibbutz Sa'ad, she was my Kibbutz Mom while I was living there.


If you can't read the Possuk on top here it is:

My soul yearns, yea, it pines for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh pray fervently to the living God.
Psalms 84:3

There's a couple connections between our names Naomi Liba and Natan Chai within the possuk, I don't remember them all but Rosie was very excited while explaining it to me. Besides the Sheva Minim and the Beit HaMikdash there are two pictures in the Ketuba with meaning for us. The top flowers on either side are alstroemeria which Naomi chose for the wedding. On the bottom left is the dugma for the wedding. It is two Nun's creating a candlestick and a Fey that becomes the flame of the candle for the last name.

Anyway, I hope to post again sometime next week but I will not promise anything.

It's been One Week...

As ADDeRabbi mentioned, he is the Mesader Kedushin at my upcoming wedding. I've made very few comments about the wedding on the blog because I started the blog after we were engaged and until now there hasn't been anything all that important. (For those keeping track we've been engaged for 13 months - please don't let your own engagement last longer that 6 months).

Since the wedding is this coming Sunday, Naomi and I will not be seeing/speaking/IMing/whatevering until the Bedeken. I will take this oportunity to mention that there is no halachic basis for this minhag.

Two of my Rebbeim have debated this minhag, Rav Blau saying "there's no basis and I didn't do it" while Rav Brovender says "It's nice". I seem to fall somewhere in the middle on this issue. I feel no compulsion to follow it, but it is nice. Especially since Naomi deems it necessary here I am talking to the computer. I thought I had a copy of this shiur on my computer but unfortunately I do not, if I can find it I'll post it. It's quite funny, two giants of Torah debating such a seemingly silly topic.

I hope this week goes by quickly.